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Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting

Welcome to Becoming Yourself Counselling

Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy for ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, and Twice-Exceptional

A Place to Begin Becoming Yourself

Many of my clients describe feeling a wide gap between where they are now and where they want to be. You may have moments when you sense your potential but struggle to live up to it. For some, this struggle is intensified by a late diagnosis or even the realization that you might be neurodivergent.

That awareness can bring both grief and relief: grief for the years spent misunderstood or misdiagnosed, and relief in finally having a framework that makes sense of your experience. It may also stir up questions about identity, leaving you unsure of who you are or how to move past obstacles that keep showing up in your life.

That tension, between the self you long for and the challenges you face, can feel discouraging, and at times overwhelming. These tensions can be felt even by the high-masking, high-achieving clients I meet. Therapy may provide support in bridging that gap by offering new perspectives, strategies, and space for reflection.

As a neurodiversity-affirming therapist in Ontario, I provide a safe space where ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, 2e, and gifted experiences are understood and respected. Rather than asking you to mask or hide parts of yourself, therapy here affirms your differences as meaningful and valuable ways of being.

Therapist Michael Holker, RSW — supporting late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults in Ontario-1

Recognizing the Cost of Masking on Neurodivergent Adults

Masking, the effort to hide or suppress your natural ways of being, takes a tremendous toll. It can leave you burned out, disconnected, and unsure of who you really are. Over time, masking may contribute to anxiety, depression, and the sense that you are simply surviving rather than living.

For many, therapy can become one of the first spaces where unmasking feels possible, where judgment is set aside and authenticity is welcomed.

 

late-diagnosis-adhd-autism-support

Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy for Adults

Therapy is not about “fixing” you, because you are not broken. Instead, it is about creating a space where you can explore your experiences, understand yourself more deeply, and experiment with tools to navigate life with greater ease. Collaboratively, we can look at the patterns that keep you stuck, whether they involve self-criticism, people-pleasing, unhealthy coping strategies, or difficulty setting boundaries.

The goal is not perfection. It is about feeling ourselves trending toward improment, which sometimes includes just navigating survival with more ease, developing ways to live more authentically, and with more self-compassion. For some, this may involve trying practical strategies for emotion regulation and daily executive functioning strategies. For others, it may mean reflecting on years of rejection or exploring new ways of relating to themselves and others.

Therapy for social and communication challenges in adults with ADHD, autism, or 2e

At Becoming Yourself Counselling, these four values guide everything we do:

1

Acceptance

In a world that often asks us to change or conform, it’s easy to feel like we’re not enough. Here, your individuality isn’t just accepted - it’s celebrated as a strength. Acceptance means embracing where you are right now while creating space for growth. We’ll work to honour your strengths, validate your struggles, and help you reconnect with your authentic self.

2

Understanding

We understand how lonely it can feel when your struggles are misunderstood or dismissed. That’s why we take the time to truly listen to your story - because your experiences matter. That’s why we take the time to understand your experiences and the challenges you face. We’ll explore your story with curiosity and compassion, helping you feel valued, validated, and deeply seen for who you are.

 

3

Nonjudgmental

It’s natural to worry about being judged for your feelings or choices. In this space, every part of your story is welcome, and you’ll be met with kindness, not criticism. In therapy, every part of your journey is welcome, without judgment or criticism. This space allows you to freely express yourself and explore your experiences, knowing you’ll be met with kindness and acceptance.

4

Compassion

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to turn that frustration inward. Together, we’ll replace self-criticism with kindness, creating the safety you need to heal and move forward with strength. We bring compassion into every session, helping you soften self-criticism and replace it with kindness and care. Compassion helps create the safety you need to heal, grow, and move forward with strength and clarity.

 

What You Can Expect: Therapy for Autism, AudHD & 2e Adults

Seeking therapy as a neurodivergent adult can feel challenging, especially if past experiences of invalidation left you feeling unseen. My commitment as a neurodiversity-affirming therapist is to provide a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental space where you can show up as you are. Therapy can be a place to explore difficult emotions, to validate your struggles, and to imagine new possibilities for how you want to live.

What You Can Expect

When you begin therapy here, you can expect:

  • A compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming approach that validates your lived experience.
  • Space to explore challenges such as burnout, masking fatigue, rejection sensitivity, depression, and anxiety.
  • Opportunities to reflect on your relationships, emotional intensity, the choices we make and strategies for sustainability and balance.
  • Space to explore your identity, values, and strengths.
  • Guidance in practicing greater self-acceptance and compassion.
Adult with ADHD and autism feeling relief after dropping the mask

Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy for Adults

Therapy is not about “fixing” you, because you are not broken. Instead, it is about creating a space where you can explore your experiences, understand yourself more deeply, and experiment with tools to navigate life with greater ease. Collaboratively, we can look at the patterns that keep you stuck, whether they involve self-criticism, people-pleasing, unhealthy coping strategies, or difficulty setting boundaries.

The goal is not perfection. It is about feeling ourselves trending toward improvement, which sometimes includes just navigating survival with more ease, developing ways to live more authentically, and with more self-compassion. For some, this may involve trying practical strategies for emotion regulation and daily executive functioning strategies. For others, it may mean reflecting on years of rejection or exploring new ways of relating to themselves and others.

Therapy for social and communication challenges in adults with ADHD, autism, or 2e
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”― Albert Camus

Becoming Yourself often isn’t just about imagining who you could be,  it’s also about loosening the grip of who you were told you had to be.

If you’d like to learn more or see if therapy feels like the right fit, you’re welcome to schedule a free consultation session online at a time that works for you.

Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy FAQs: ADHD, Autism, and Online Support in Ontario

 

What is neurodiversity-affirming therapy?

Neurodiversity-affirming therapy is an approach that values neurological differences, such as ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, and other ways of thinking, as part of human diversity, not as problems to “fix.” Instead of pushing you to conform, this therapy focuses on helping you understand your brain, reduce shame, and build strategies that align with your strengths. Many people find it especially helpful if they’ve been late-diagnosed, are high masking, or feel like they’ve never quite fit in.

Can therapy help if I use substances to cope with stress or overwhelm?

Yes. Many clients use substances like cannabis, alcohol, or prescriptions to manage racing thoughts, anxiety, or burnout. My approach is harm-reduction-based, meaning you don’t have to quit to start therapy. Instead, we work together to understand your patterns, reduce harm, and build additional ways to regulate your nervous system so you feel less dependent on substances over time.

How do I know if therapy is right for me if I was diagnosed with ADHD or autism later in life?

A late diagnosis often brings a mix of grief, relief, and questions. Therapy helps you process that identity shift, reframe your past without shame, and develop strategies for living authentically in the present. Many clients describe it as finally putting puzzle pieces together and finding a safe space to rebuild their story with compassion.

Can online therapy really help with ADHD, autism, or burnout?

Absolutely. Online therapy provides privacy and convenience while giving you access to specialized, neurodiversity-affirming support. Sessions focus on your real struggles, executive functioning, masking, rejection sensitivity, anxiety, and overwhelm, while giving you practical tools you can apply immediately. For many clients, meeting from home makes therapy more accessible and less draining.

What makes Becoming Yourself Counselling different?

My niche is working with neurodivergent, gifted, high-masking individuals, and they often feel like they experience a deep internal struggle that no one notices, who often feel unseen in traditional therapy. My approach blends evidence-based tools (like CBT, CFT, ACT, and DBT) with a humanistic, trauma-informed, and existential perspective. Instead of pushing one-size-fits-all solutions, I meet you where you are, honour your lived experience, and help you build a life that feels more authentic and sustainable.