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Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting

Meet Michael Holker, HBA, BSW, MSW, Registered Social Worker |
Psychotherapist

A Personal Journey to Becoming Myself

I’m a neurodiversity-affirming therapist (RSW) in Ontario, offering virtual counselling for ADHD, autism, AuDHD, and 2e adults.

As a late-diagnosed neurodivergent person, I know what it feels like to move through life with an inner world few can see or understand.

For years, I felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit, searching for belonging, meaning, and a place where I could show up as my authentic self.

That search led me to therapy, first as a client, and later as a calling. Along the way, I came to understand more of who I am and arrived at a guiding truth: no one should have to hide who they are to feel accepted. My practice is built on this belief  that therapy can offer a space to be understood, valued, and supported in being yourself.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” - Carl Gustav Jung

Explore my services & approach to ADHD, autism, AuDHD therapy
Michael Holker, Registered Social Worker and neurodiversity-affirming therapist specializing in ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness

A Professional Path Rooted in Compassion: 15 Years in Mental Health

“You are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” Sophie Bush

With over 15 years of experience in mental health, I’ve worked in inpatient programs, community mental health settings, and now private practice, with a consistent focus on supporting people as whole human beings. 

My formal education has provided the foundation for this work:

  • Bachelor of Arts (Honours), University of Toronto (2002)
  • Bachelor of Social Work, Dalhousie University (2014)
  • Master of Social Work, University of Windsor (2018)

I’ve completed training in a range of approaches, including Mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS-informed), and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT).

Beyond formal training, I continue to study topics that deepen my understanding of the human experience, neurodivergence, psychology, sociology, and the ways we seek and create meaning in our lives.

"Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul be just another human soul. " - C.G. Jung

I provide virtual counselling across Ontario 

A Neurodiversity-Affirming, Trauma-Informed Approach

I believe that brains come in many brilliant configurations. ADHD, autism, giftedness, 2e (twice-exceptional), and other forms of neurodivergence are not problems to be “fixed,” but natural variations in human wiring.

My role is to support you in exploring your unique operating system, working toward lessening shame, and considering ways of living that may better align with your values, needs, and strengths.

Because many neurodivergent individuals have experienced repeated invalidation or relational harm, I also work through a trauma-informed lens, ensuring that therapy is collaborative, consent-driven, and paced to your comfort

 

My Core Values in Therapy
Understanding, Compassion, Acceptance, Non-Judgment

These aren’t just words here, they’re the pillars we stand on, the foundation for change that feels safe, steady, and entirely your own.

01

Understanding – Meeting you where you are without judgment.

Understanding in our work means meeting you where you are, without expectation or criticism. It is about holding space for your unique perspectives, emotions, and needs, and helping you notice the patterns and strengths that shape your life. At the same time, understanding extends outward—supporting clearer, more authentic connections with others. It becomes a shared guide, inviting both self-awareness and empathy into the therapeutic process and daily living.

02

Compassion – Holding space for your struggles and your strengths

Compassion guides us to approach pain and difficulty with gentleness rather than judgment. In therapy, this means creating room to sit with challenges rather than rushing past them, while also noticing the strengths that help you endure. Compassion also extends inward, offering a way to soften self-criticism and relate to yourself with more kindness. This value shapes how we work together—moving at a pace that respects your experiences and supporting you in bringing that same care into the rest of your life.

 

03

Acceptance – Honouring who you are, rather than who the world says you should be.

Acceptance is about acknowledging what is present—your story, your identity, your lived experiences—without condition. It does not mean staying stuck or giving up, but instead recognizing the truth of the moment as a foundation for growth. In our work, acceptance helps create a safe and affirming environment where self-judgment can loosen its hold. It encourages authenticity, making space for greater ease and freedom, and becomes a compass for navigating both therapy and the wider world.

04

Non-Judgment – Creating safety for you to explore every part of yourself.

Nonjudgment creates a space where your thoughts, emotions, and experiences can be shared openly without fear of criticism. In therapy, this fosters honesty and courage, allowing exploration of even the most difficult parts of life. Nonjudgment also means learning to turn that same openness inward, meeting yourself with curiosity rather than harshness. By reducing judgment—toward self and others—we create more room for resilience, connection, and authenticity, both within the therapeutic relationship and beyond.

therapy-core-values-balance-2

Becoming Yourself – Supporting ADHD, Autism, AuDHD & 2e Adults Across Ontario

I’ve been where many of my clients are — masking, doubting myself, wondering if I’d ever find my place. The turning point for me came when I stopped striving to meet impossible standards and began honouring who I really was. That shift reshaped how I lived, and it now informs the journey I walk alongside my clients.

Therapy, to me, is not about “fixing” you. It’s about creating space to explore the self you may feel has been hidden under years of expectations, criticism, or self-doubt.

Working together, we can explore what it means to live more authentically, with a focus on self-understanding, self-compassion, and self-acceptance.

Becoming Yourself is often a quiet personal rebellion against who or what others said you needed to be.

Neurodiversity-affirming Therapy Ontario

Offering Guidance to Assist You In Navigate Your Challenges

Often, without the right support, it can feel easy to remain stuck in self-doubt, weighed down by expectations and “shoulds” that don’t align with who you are.My intention is to offer guidance and understanding that may support you in exploring these challenges, with the goal of creating more space for growth, self-acceptance, and possibilities beyond frustration.

You are not alone

Life can feel overwhelming, particularly when facing the challenges of masking, the act of hiding one’s true self to fit in or avoid discrimination, along with rejection sensitivity or a relentless inner critic. Many people experience loneliness, frustration, or a longing to feel understood. Therapy can provide space to process these challenges, explore your strengths, and consider ways of living that may feel more aligned with who you are. You don’t have to explore these challenges on your own.

More Questions? Book a Free Consult

If what you’ve read here resonates, you’re invited to book a session online to begin exploring whether this approach feels supportive for you.

 

I am a Registered Social Worker providing virtual services to residents of Ontario.

“Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
– Robert Frost