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Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting

Meet Michael Holker, HBA, BSW, MSW, Registered Social Worker

A Personal Journey to Becoming Myself:  From Client to Therapist

I’m a neurodiversity-affirming therapist (RSW) in Ontario, offering virtual counselling for ADHD, autism, AuDHD, and 2e adults.

As a late-diagnosed neurodivergent person, I know what it feels like to move through life with an inner world few can see or understand.

For years, I felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit, searching for belonging, meaning, and a place where I could show up as my authentic self.

That search led me to therapy, first as a client, then as a calling. Along the way, I discovered who I was and a truth that now guides my work: no one should have to hide who they are to be accepted. We all deserve spaces where we feel understood, valued, and free to be ourselves.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” - Carl Gustav Jung

Explore my services & approach to ADHD, autism, AuDHD therapy
Michael Holker, Registered Social Worker and neurodiversity-affirming therapist specializing in ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness

A Professional Path Rooted in Compassion: 15 Years in Mental Health

“You are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” Sophie Bush

With over 15 years of experience in mental health, I’ve worked in inpatient programs, community mental health settings, and now private practice, always with a focus on seeing people as whole, not broken.

My formal education has provided a strong foundation for this work:

• Bachelor of Arts (Honours) from the University of Toronto (2002)

• Bachelor of Social Work from Dalhousie University (2014)

• Master of Social Work from the University of Windsor (2018)

I’ve completed extensive training in a range of approaches, including Mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS-informed), and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT).

Beyond formal training, I continually study topics that deepen my understanding of the human experience, neurodivergence, psychology, sociology, and the ways we find meaning in our lives.

"Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul be just another human soul. " - C.G Jung

I provide virtual counselling across Ontario 

A Neurodiversity-Affirming, Trauma-Informed Approach

I believe that brains come in many brilliant configurations, ADHD, autism, giftedness, 2e (twice-exceptional) and other neurodivergence's are not problems to be “fixed” but natural variations in human wiring. My role is to help you understand your unique operating system, reduce shame, and find ways of living that align with your values, needs, and strengths.

Because many neurodivergent individuals have experienced repeated invalidation or relational harm, I also work through a trauma-informed lens, ensuring therapy is collaborative, consent-driven, and paced to your comfort.

My Core Values in Therapy
Understanding, Compassion, Acceptance, Non-Judgment

These aren’t just words here, they’re the pillars we stand on, the foundation for change that feels safe, steady, and entirely your own.

01

Understanding – Meeting you where you are without judgment.

Understanding means holding space for your unique experiences, perspectives, and needs without expectation or criticism.  Meeting you exactly where you are on your journey. 

In our work together, understanding also means helping you understand yourself — your patterns, strengths, challenges, and the deeper meaning behind your experiences. At the same time, it involves supporting you in finding ways to help others understand you better, so that your connections can be more authentic and affirming. True understanding is both inward and outward: nurturing self-awareness while cultivating empathy and clarity in the way we relate to others.

02

Compassion – Holding space for your struggles and your strengths

Compassion is the act of sitting with your pain without trying to rush you through it or minimize your experience. It’s about recognizing that suffering is part of being human, while offering kindness and gentleness to help lighten the weight you carry. Compassion allows us to work together in a way that honours your vulnerability while affirming your strengths.

It also means guiding you toward self-compassion; learning how to soften your inner critic, soothe difficult emotions, and treat yourself with the same care you would naturally extend to others. Through compassion, we not only create healing within ourselves but also foster greater patience and kindness in the way we connect with the world.

03

Acceptance – Honouring who you are, rather than who the world says you should be.

Acceptance is about creating a safe and affirming space where all parts of you, your identity, your story, and your lived experiences, are welcomed without condition. It doesn’t mean giving up or staying stuck; instead, it means acknowledging what is real in this moment as the first step toward growth and change.

Together, we’ll work on cultivating self-acceptance so you can release the weight of constant self-judgment or striving to be someone you’re not. Acceptance allows you to move through life with greater ease, authenticity, and freedom, while also helping you build deeper, more affirming connections with those around you.

04

Non-Judgment – Creating safety for you to explore every part of yourself.

Nonjudgment means creating an environment where you can share openly without fear of being criticized, misunderstood, or shamed. Therapy becomes a space where your thoughts, feelings, and choices are received with openness rather than evaluation. This helps you explore even the most difficult or complicated parts of yourself with honesty and courage.

Practicing nonjudgment also supports you in extending the same openness toward yourself. Instead of harsh self-criticism, you learn to approach your inner world with curiosity and gentleness. In turn, this fosters resilience and allows for deeper, more genuine relationships because when judgment is set aside, there is room for growth, connection, and authenticity.

therapy-core-values-balance-2

Becoming Yourself – Supporting ADHD, Autism, AuDHD & 2e Adults Across Ontario

I’ve been where my clients are, masking, doubting myself, wondering if I’d ever find my place. The turning point for me came when I stopped striving to meet impossible standards and started honouring who I really was. That shift changed my life, and it’s the journey I now walk alongside my clients.

Therapy, to me, is not about “fixing” you. It’s about uncovering the self you’ve always been, even if it’s been hidden under years of expectations, criticism, or self-doubt. Working together, we explore how to live more authentically, with greater self-understanding, self-compassion, and self-acceptance.

Becoming Yourself is often a quiet personal rebellion against who or what others said you needed to be.

Neurodiversity-affirming Therapy Ontario

Offering Guidance to Assist You In Navigate Your Challenges

Often, without the proper support, it can be easy to remain stuck in self-doubt, overwhelmed by expectations and 'shoulds' that don't align with who you are. I aim to offer you the guidance and understanding needed to move beyond these pitfalls so you can experience the growth and progress you deserve instead of continual frustration.

You are not alone

Life can feel overwhelming, particularly when facing challenges of 'masking, the act of hiding one's true self to fit in or avoid discrimination, rejection sensitivity, or a relentless inner critic. Many clients experience loneliness, frustration, or a longing to feel understood. Therapy is a way to process these challenges and pains, uncover your strengths, and build a life that feels aligned with who you are. You don't have to continue doing it all alone.

More Questions? Book a Free Consult

If you’d like to explore whether we’re a good fit, I invite you to get in touch for a conversation, no rush, no pressure, just space to talk about your hopes for therapy.
I am a Registered Social Worker providing virtual services to residents of Ontario.
“Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
– Robert Frost