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Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting

Welcome to Becoming Yourself Counselling

Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy for ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, and Twice-Exceptional

You’ve spent years adapting, struggling to fit in as a neurodivergent adult.
 
You’ve learned how to blend in, to adjust yourself to fit environments that were not designed for your way of thinking and feeling.

On the outside, you might look fine, maybe even “high-achieving.”

Inside, you’re exhausted from carrying a lifetime of being misunderstood and invalidated, pushed to meet expectations that don’t match how you process the world.

You can excel in ways that astonish others, yet still stumble in everyday moments. Holding both truths, the brilliance and the struggle, can be one of life’s hardest forms of self-acceptance.

What if there was a place where you could stop performing and just… be?

A place where the relentless inner critic could rest, the mask could come off, and your whole self was welcome?
 
This is the space we’ll build together.
You’re not imagining it—the world really has expected you to be someone you’re not.
 
This practice offers neurodiversity-affirming therapy for ADHD, autism, and AuDHD across Ontario 
 
Therapist Michael Holker, RSW — supporting late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults in Ontario-1

The Hidden Weight You Carry: Late Diagnosis, Masking, and 2e Identity

Maybe you’re only now uncovering the truth of who you are, late diagnosis, self-discovery, or realizing you may be twice exceptional (2e), you may be uncovering the truth of who you are.

Some days it feels like you’re holding up the whole world (the deadlines, the relationships, the responsibilities) all while keeping your struggles out of sight.

Maybe you’ve mastered the art of looking fine while you manage an internal struggle with yourself.

Maybe you’ve found ways to shift your state (cannabis, alcohol, overwork, late-night scrolling) because sometimes it’s the only way to slow your mind or calm your body.

You’ve been carrying more than anyone realizes and you don’t have to carry it alone anymore.

late-diagnosis-adhd-autism-support
Therapy for social and communication challenges in adults with ADHD, autism, or 2e

The Relentless Inner Critic: Living with Constant Pressure to Conform

For many of us, there’s a voice inside that never rests, always pushing us to do more, be better, meet impossible standards, whether internally driven or societal expectations.

We’ve learned to be chameleons, adapting, masking, bending ourselves into shapes that make others comfortable until even we can lose sight of who we really are.

And still, no one truly sees the cost of this constant adaptation.

You’ve done what you had to do to survive; now it’s time to learn how to be yourself.

At Becoming Yourself Counselling, these four values guide everything we do:

1

Acceptance

In a world that often asks us to change or conform, it’s easy to feel like we’re not enough. Here, your individuality isn’t just accepted - it’s celebrated as a strength. Acceptance means embracing where you are right now while creating space for growth. We’ll work to honour your strengths, validate your struggles, and help you reconnect with your authentic self.

2

Understanding

We understand how lonely it can feel when your struggles are misunderstood or dismissed. That’s why we take the time to truly listen to your story - because your experiences matter. That’s why we take the time to understand your experiences and the challenges you face. We’ll explore your story with curiosity and compassion, helping you feel valued, validated, and deeply seen for who you are.

 

3

Nonjudgmental

It’s natural to worry about being judged for your feelings or choices. In this space, every part of your story is welcome, and you’ll be met with kindness, not criticism. In therapy, every part of your journey is welcome, without judgment or criticism. This space allows you to freely express yourself and explore your experiences, knowing you’ll be met with kindness and acceptance.

4

Compassion

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to turn that frustration inward. Together, we’ll replace self-criticism with kindness, creating the safety you need to heal and move forward with strength. We bring compassion into every session, helping you soften self-criticism and replace it with kindness and care. Compassion helps create the safety you need to heal, grow, and move forward with strength and clarity.

 

A Space to Breathe and Be Seen: Therapy for Autism, AudHD & 2e Adults

Here, you don’t have to prove yourself, hide your needs, or shrink to fit.

Many of my clients are:

  • High-masking neurodivergent adults — ADHD, autism, AuDHD, 2e (twice-exceptional), gifted, or “neurocomplex” in ways that don’t fit one neat label
  • Late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed, now trying to make sense of past and present
  • Brilliant, capable, and deeply sensitive, yet worn down by the invisible weight of living in a world that wasn’t built for them

You’ll find space to explore your story, meet yourself with compassion, and build a life that works with your mind and body, not against them.

You deserve a place where your whole self belongs.

Adult with ADHD and autism feeling relief after dropping the mask
becoming-myself-therapy-Ontario

Therapy That Meets You Where You Are: Online Counselling Across Ontario

I work with neurodivergent adults in all their diversity, ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, sensory processing differences, and more. Some have formal diagnoses, others are self-identified, and some are still figuring it out.

I also understand how neurodivergence often intersects with other parts of identity, chronic illness, trauma history, gender, sexuality, and culture, shaping how you see yourself and how the world responds to you.

Here, you don’t have to prove your experience. You don’t have to hide the parts of yourself you’ve been told are “too much” or “not enough.” This is your space to be heard, supported, respected, and potentially seen and understood for who you are.

Therapy isn’t about making you someone else:  it’s about helping you become yourself.

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”― Albert Camus

Why I Do This Work: My Lived Experience as a Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergent Adult

As a late-diagnosed neurodivergent adult, I’ve experienced the exhaustion of masking, the confusion of self-discovery, and the challenges of finding spaces where I felt I belonged.

I know what it’s like to feel out of sync with the world. For years, I thought I was an alien — watching and studying humanity from the outside, trying to pass as one of them. Traditional therapy methods wanted to put me in a box I didn’t fit into, and that grew into a desire to help others who don’t feel they “fit neatly” into those boxes.

My practice is built on creating that space for others, one where you can explore your story without judgment, reconnect with yourself, let go of what’s not truly you, and learn strategies that fit your reality.

Becoming Yourself isn’t just about becoming the person you imagine yourself to be, it’s about releasing who they told you you had to be.

You are not too much. You are not broken. You are worthy of being fully seen.

 
 

Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy FAQs: ADHD, Autism, and Online Support in Ontario

 

What is neurodiversity-affirming therapy?

Neurodiversity-affirming therapy is an approach that values neurological differences, such as ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, and other ways of thinking, as part of human diversity, not as problems to “fix.” Instead of pushing you to conform, this therapy focuses on helping you understand your brain, reduce shame, and build strategies that align with your strengths. Many people find it especially helpful if they’ve been late-diagnosed, are high masking, or feel like they’ve never quite fit in.

Can therapy help if I use substances to cope with stress or overwhelm?

Yes. Many clients use substances like cannabis, alcohol, or prescriptions to manage racing thoughts, anxiety, or burnout. My approach is harm-reduction-based, meaning you don’t have to quit to start therapy. Instead, we work together to understand your patterns, reduce harm, and build additional ways to regulate your nervous system so you feel less dependent on substances over time.

How do I know if therapy is right for me if I was diagnosed with ADHD or autism later in life?

A late diagnosis often brings a mix of grief, relief, and questions. Therapy helps you process that identity shift, reframe your past without shame, and develop strategies for living authentically in the present. Many clients describe it as finally putting puzzle pieces together and finding a safe space to rebuild their story with compassion.

Can online therapy really help with ADHD, autism, or burnout?

Absolutely. Online therapy provides privacy and convenience while giving you access to specialized, neurodiversity-affirming support. Sessions focus on your real struggles, executive functioning, masking, rejection sensitivity, anxiety, and overwhelm, while giving you practical tools you can apply immediately. For many clients, meeting from home makes therapy more accessible and less draining.

What makes Becoming Yourself Counselling different?

My niche is working with neurodivergent, gifted, high-masking individuals, and they often feel like they experience a deep internal struggle that no one notices, who often feel unseen in traditional therapy. My approach blends evidence-based tools (like CBT, CFT, ACT, and DBT) with a humanistic, trauma-informed, and existential perspective. Instead of pushing one-size-fits-all solutions, I meet you where you are, honour your lived experience, and help you build a life that feels more authentic and sustainable.