---
title: What Therapy With a Neurodivergent Therapist Looks Like
description: "What therapy with a neurodivergent therapist looks like: sessions paced to your nervous system, no performing required. Virtual therapy across Ontario."
image: https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-autistic-adhd-adults.webp
---

[Skip to main content](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-for-autistic-adhd-adults#main-content)

[![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg) ![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg) ![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg) ![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg)](https://becomingyourself.com)

- [Home](https://becomingyourself.com)
- [Services & Approach](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario)
- [Our Team](https://becomingyourself.com/team)
- [Contact](https://becomingyourself.com/contact)
- [Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself)

Open main navigation

Close main navigation

- [Home](https://becomingyourself.com)
- [Services & Approach](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario)
- [Our Team](https://becomingyourself.com/team)
- [Contact](https://becomingyourself.com/contact)
- [Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself)
- [FREE Meet & Greet](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/list)

[FREE Meet & Greet](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/list)

[Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself)

Tags

- [Autism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/autism)
- [neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy)
- [ADHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/adhd)
- [Burnout and Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/burnout-and-masking)
- [Identity and Self](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/identity-and-self)
- [AuDHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/audhd)
- [Gifted and Twice-Exceptional (2e)](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/gifted-and-twice-exceptional-2e)

Search

- [Autism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/autism)
- [neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy)
- [ADHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/adhd)
- [Burnout and Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/burnout-and-masking)
- [Identity and Self](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/identity-and-self)
- [AuDHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/audhd)
- [Gifted and Twice-Exceptional (2e)](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/gifted-and-twice-exceptional-2e)

[neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy)

# How I Work: What Therapy With a Neurodivergent Therapist Looks Like

![How I Work: What Therapy With a Neurodivergent Therapist Looks Like](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-autistic-adhd-adults.webp?width=1200&height=820&name=neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-autistic-adhd-adults.webp)

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." — Carl Rogers

I am Michael Holker, MSW, RSW, a neurodivergent Registered Social Worker at Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting, based in Toronto and offering virtual therapy to adults across Ontario. My sessions are collaborative and paced to your nervous system, drawing on ACT, compassion-focused therapy, DBT-informed skills and parts-informed reflection, with a focus on masking, burnout, shame, late diagnosis and identity. 

 *By Michael Holker, MSW, RSW · Published 9 July 2025 · Updated October 2026*

Many neurodivergent adults who find their way to my practice are not arriving because they need more pressure, more advice, or a better plan for appearing less intense. They are arriving because they are tired.

Not always the kind of tired that a good weekend fixes. Often it is something older and more specific than that. The tiredness that builds across years of overriding instincts. Of translating yourself, again, for people who are trying to understand but cannot quite get there. Of pushing through sensory strain that nobody around you seems to notice. Of functioning — really, genuinely functioning — inside systems that were never designed with your nervous system in mind.

I know this tiredness. Not just from sitting across from it in a therapy room. I know it because I have lived it myself.

My name is Michael Holker. I am a Registered Social Worker and I provide virtual neuro-affirming therapy for neurodivergent adults across Ontario. I work with people navigating ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, high-masking patterns, burnout, shame, and late diagnosis. And I do this work not only because of my clinical training, but because of what I have had to learn — slowly, imperfectly, and with significant help — about what it means to take my own neurology seriously rather than working against it.

This post is about how I work. What I actually do in sessions, what I am trying to create, what I believe is worth paying attention to, and why I approach this the way I do. I hope this gives you something real to hold.

And if you’d like more than one voice on it, I joined three colleagues to answer [what neuro-affirming care actually looks like](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neuroaffirming-care-expert-perspectives).

---

## **Will I Have to Perform Here, Too?**

When someone begins looking for a therapist — an ADHD therapist, an autism therapist, or someone who understands AuDHD — they are rarely asking only one question. There is usually a second question running underneath the surface, quieter and more loaded than the first.

*Will I have to perform here, too?*

That question deserves to be named, because it changes everything about how therapy should be structured. For many adults with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, or high-masking patterns, therapy has not always felt like a place to exhale. Sometimes it has felt like one more room where they needed to explain themselves, soften themselves, find the right words at the right speed, or be legible to someone who was well-meaning but operating from a fundamentally different framework.

I am not interested in being one more room like that.

What I am trying to build — in every session, with every person — is a space where you do not have to translate yourself before the work can begin.

## **Why Does Standard Therapy So Often Miss Neurodivergent Adults?**

I offer neuro-affirming therapy because the standard model often fails neurodivergent adults in specific, predictable, and entirely avoidable ways.

Sometimes the failure is obvious: someone is dismissed, pathologized, reduced to a deficit list, or given tools that were designed for a different nervous system and then blamed for not using them correctly. Those failures are painful and, unfortunately, common.

But the subtler failures are the ones I think about more. The therapy that sounds affirming but still, quietly, treats your pacing as resistance. That acknowledges your diagnosis but still expects linear emotional access. That is patient with your struggles, but still, somehow, makes you feel like you are doing therapy wrong.

 What I see in many neurodivergent adults who have had difficult therapeutic experiences is not a failure of the person. It is a failure of fit. A mismatch between a therapeutic model and a nervous system that needed something different.

Over time, mismatch becomes identity. You may have started believing that your overwhelm means weakness. That inconsistency means laziness. That needing recovery means failing at adulthood. That your sensitivity is a liability rather than a signal.

What I tend to see instead — when I have enough time and enough trust to actually look — is adaptation. Survival strategies that made complete sense in the environments that required them. Thoughtful, capable adults who have been running harder than anyone around them realized, for longer than is sustainable, with less support than they deserved.

This is the broader picture that research on autistic burnout and camouflaging supports.  Autistic adults describe burnout not as a failure of resilience but as the result of chronic stress and a mismatch between what is expected and what is possible, without adequate support (Raymaker et al., 2020). Many of the ADHD and AuDHD adults I work with describe something very similar.

Camouflaging is not a neutral behaviour — it is associated with poorer mental health outcomes (Khudiakova et al., 2024), and many people describe a real cost to their sense of who they are. Sensory differences are not quirks to be managed — they are meaningfully related to distress and deserve real clinical attention (Chen et al., 2024).

I mention this not to turn your experience into a research summary, but because many people have spent years treating their exhaustion like a personal defect. It is often not that at all. It is a very understandable response to what their system has been carrying.

For a deeper breakdown of [what neuro-affirming therapy actually is](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neuro-affirming-therapy-ontario-guide), and how it differs from traditional approaches, see the foundational guide.

---

## **Who Do I Work With?**

I work primarily with adults across Ontario — virtually, which means wherever you are in the province is where we can work together. My practice is focused on neurodivergent adults, including people with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, high-masking patterns, burnout, and late diagnosis.

If you are beginning to make sense of overlapping autistic and ADHD traits, this guide to [understanding what AuDHD is](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/what-is-audhd) may help clarify why attention, sensory processing, masking, emotional regulation, and burnout can interact in complex and sometimes contradictory ways.

Some people arrive with a formal diagnosis. Others do not have one and may never seek one — either because assessment is inaccessible, or because the label matters less to them than the pattern. Some are clear about how they identify. Others are in an earlier stage of figuring that out, trying to make sense of a lifetime of experiences that never quite fit the explanations they were given.

I do not require tidy language. I do not require a completed narrative. I do not require certainty before we begin.

What I do require, or perhaps ask for, is willingness — the willingness to show up honestly rather than as the version of you that seems most manageable to other people. That is often the hardest thing for neurodivergent adults who have been performing for a very long time. And it is also, in my experience, the thing that most determines whether therapy goes anywhere meaningful.

Many of the adults I work with are externally capable and internally struggling in ways that are invisible to the people around them. They may be professionals, caregivers, creatives, deep thinkers, high achievers, or the person everyone else relies on when things go sideways. Internally, they may feel fragmented, overstimulated, quietly ashamed, or like they are carrying something heavy that they cannot quite name.

Some of the experiences that often come up in my practice include:

- Masking in social or professional settings and the particular exhaustion that comes with it
- Burnout that arrives in cycles — sometimes predictably, sometimes not
- Sensory overwhelm that is real, costly, and rarely acknowledged
- Feeling misunderstood or pathologized in previous therapeutic experiences
- Emotional flooding or shutdown that is hard to explain or predict
- Shame after mistakes, perceived rejection, or simply existing in ways that feel too visible
- Perfectionism and the pressure to keep performing even when the system is running on empty
- Difficulty trusting your own perception and judgment
- The particular grief and disorientation of late diagnosis — and the identity questions it opens up
- Feeling different, even in spaces that are supposed to understand

 If you are looking specifically for [ADHD therapy in Ontario](https://becomingyourself.com/adhd-therapy-for-adults-in-ontario), [autism therapy in Ontario](https://becomingyourself.com/autism-therapy-for-adults-in-ontario), [AuDHD therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/audhd-therapy-in-ontario), or [therapy for gifted and twice-exceptional adults](https://becomingyourself.com/therapy-for-gifted-adults-in-ontario), those pages describe those specific areas in more depth. 

---

## **How Do I Actually Work?**

My approach to neuroaffirming therapy is collaborative, flexible, and built around the actual realities of different nervous systems rather than the assumption that one standard format serves everyone.

At the heart of my practice is a belief that is simple to state and takes significant work to actually embody:  neurodivergence is not something to be corrected out of a person (Leadbitter et al., 2021). 

That does not mean I ignore pain. It does not mean I minimize executive dysfunction, emotional flooding, burnout, or the real difficulties that come with living in a world that was not designed for certain kinds of minds. It does not mean I romanticize difference or treat everything as a strength in disguise.

It means I do not begin from the assumption that the goal is to make you look more neurotypical. It means I start, instead, with curiosity.

I want to understand how your particular system works. What it needs. What drains it and what restores it. What patterns keep repeating and why those patterns made sense once, even if they are costing too much now. What parts of you have had to go underground — not because they were wrong, but because the environments you were in had no room for them.

In practice, this shapes almost everything about how sessions feel.

I do not treat eye contact as a measure of engagement. I do not interpret sensory needs as avoidance. I do not assume that insight should automatically produce action — or that the gap between knowing and doing is a character issue rather than a regulation one. I do not frame communication that is different as communication that is deficient.

Sessions are collaborative, not corrective. Rather than deciding from the outside what your healing should look like, I work with you to understand what actually matters to you and what conditions make sustainable change possible for your specific brain. We pay attention to lived reality — not symptoms in isolation, but context, capacity, meaning, and fit.

What that looks like in practice varies significantly from person to person and from session to session. Sometimes it means slowing down considerably — staying close to the body, to sensation, to what is actually present rather than what should theoretically be present. Sometimes it means being very concrete: what happened, what it cost, what might help, what small next step actually fits this week. Sometimes it means sitting with something complicated without trying to resolve it before it is ready.

The approaches I draw from — ACT, DBT-informed skills, mindfulness, self-compassion work, and parts-informed reflection — are adapted for each person rather than applied as fixed protocols.  Research linking psychological flexibility to wellbeing in autistic adults (Aller et al., 2024), and on the role of self-compassion in psychotherapy (Neff & Germer, 2022), fits well with this kind of individualized, adaptive work.. But in practice, what it means is simply this: I follow you. I follow what is actually happening in the room, what your nervous system is telling us today, and what kind of engagement feels most honest and most useful.

Not sure how to find a therapist who actually works this way? [How to Choose a Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapist in Ontario](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/choose-neurodivergent-affirming-therapist) breaks it down simply.

---

## **What Happens in a Session?**

Virtual therapy across Ontario means you are working from wherever you actually are. Your home. Your car. A private room at work. Wherever you can be most yourself, with the least amount of performance required.

That is not a minor thing. For many neurodivergent adults, the sensory demands of getting to an office — the commute, the waiting room, the unfamiliar environment — consume a significant amount of the regulation resources that were supposed to be available for the actual work. Virtual sessions remove that. You stay in your own space, your own lighting, your own chair, surrounded by your own things.

In sessions, some practical things are worth knowing:

Camera is optional. Some people think better when they are not managing how they look. That is fine with me.

Silence is allowed. Processing out loud is not the only way to process. Some people need to sit with something before language arrives. I try to make room for that rather than filling it prematurely.

You can say you don't know. This is underrated. Many neurodivergent adults have learned to produce an answer quickly because the alternative felt riskier. In here, not knowing is information — and it is welcome.

The pacing is adjustable. If something is moving too fast, or if a question lands wrong, or if you need to redirect, that is useful data. You are not required to follow a fixed structure to the end of an hour.

Some sessions are more exploratory — moving slowly, making meaning, creating space for the parts of you that have not had much room. Others are more structured and practical: concrete planning, nervous system tools, boundary work, or support for specific recurring challenges. Often therapy is both, sometimes within the same hour.

What I aim for — what I am always trying to build — is a space where more of you is allowed to exist. Where the version of you that shows up doesn't have to first pass through a filter of what seems acceptable, manageable, or easy to understand. Curious whether this would fit you? You can [book a free 20-minute meet-and-greet with me](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/staff_member/1), or keep reading.

## What Might We Work On Together?

Every person brings a different story, a different history, and different goals. But there are some recurring themes that tend to come up in my work with neurodivergent adults in Ontario, and it may be helpful to name them directly.

**Masking and burnout.** Many adults have spent years hiding needs, overriding instincts, and performing a version of themselves that is more palatable to their environments. Eventually, the system strains. Tasks that were manageable become impossible. Social energy evaporates. The usual coping strategies stop working. When this happens — and it often looks less like a breakdown and more like a slow, private dimming — it is usually a nervous system that has been carrying too much for too long.  For more on what this pattern looks like, [masking burnout and the neurodivergent high-achieving trap](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/masking-burnout-and-the-neurodivergent-high-achieving-trap) explores it in depth. 

**Shame and the inner critic.** A great deal of neurodivergent suffering is organized around shame. Not because neurodivergent people are inherently more flawed, but because repeated misunderstanding, correction, and mismatch teach the nervous system that difference is dangerous. Over time, the external corrective voice becomes an internal one. In therapy, we work on noticing the critic, understanding where it came from, and building a different relationship with yourself — one that is grounded in accuracy rather than punishment.

**Late diagnosis and identity.** Late discovery of ADHD, autism, or AuDHD arrives differently for different people. For some, it is a key sliding into a lock. For others, it feels more like an earthquake — old memories reinterpreting themselves, relationships suddenly looking different, the life you have built suddenly requiring a new framework.  Therapy makes room for that complexity: the relief and the grief, the clarity and the confusion, the anger and the tenderness, all at once. I've written more about [what identity can look like after a late autism diagnosis](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/what-identity-looks-like-after-late-diagnosis-of-autism).  A recent review of adults' experiences of being diagnosed autistic later in life highlights how much it matters to have a space that holds that complexity without rushing toward resolution (Nayyar et al., 2025). 

**Giftedness, intensity, and the exhaustion of capability.** Some clients carry a very particular kind of fatigue: the exhaustion of being capable and struggling at the same time. Gifted and twice-exceptional adults often live with deep insight, intense curiosity, high internal standards, and complex inner worlds — alongside perfectionism, sensory strain, chronic pressure, and the particular loneliness of feeling like no one quite keeps up. Therapy becomes a place where all of that can be present without the intelligence having to justify the struggle or the struggle having to apologize for existing alongside the intelligence.

**Self-trust, limits, and sustainable living.** Many neurodivergent adults become skilled at reading other people while losing contact with themselves. Therapy can be a place to rebuild that contact. To notice limits more accurately and earlier. To understand what your nervous system is actually asking for — before it forces the issue. To build a life that fits your actual capacity rather than the idealized version of who you think you should be.

---

## **A Few Things I Want You to Know**

I am neurodivergent myself. This is not a credential I lead with casually, because lived experience and clinical training are different things and both matter. But I name it here because I think it is relevant to what I offer.  I have had to do [a version of the work I am describing](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/becoming-yourself-it-began-with-my-journey).  I have had to learn, through my own process, that my nervous system's signals are worth listening to — that overriding them is not strength but a form of self-abandonment, and that therapy is most useful when it does not require you to perform a version of yourself before the session can properly begin.

That experience shapes what I am attentive to, what I trust, and what I believe is worth making room for.

I do not assume your previous therapeutic experiences were bad because you were a difficult client. I assume that fit matters, that neurodivergent-specific knowledge matters, and that a good therapeutic space should require less performance from you, not more.

And I believe — genuinely, and as a result of both clinical work and personal experience — that the people who have spent the longest performing the most are often the ones who have the most to recover when they finally find a space where they don't have to.

---

If any of this resonates — if you found yourself nodding, or felt something settle slightly while reading it — I would be glad to connect.

The first step is a free 20-minute Meet-and-Greet — a short conversation where we can get a sense of each other.  [Book a free 20-minute meet-and-greet with me](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/staff_member/1). 

If anxiety, depression or self-esteem is more at the centre for you, you might prefer to [start with Euodia Leung, MSW, RSW](https://becomingyourself.com/euodia-leung). 

No preparation required. No performance necessary. Just a conversation.

To learn more about what this looks like in practice, the [neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario) page outlines the approach, who it's for, and how to take the first step.

---

## **Questions About Working With Me**

### **What does therapy with you look like?**

It is collaborative, flexible, and adapted to your communication style, sensory needs, processing pace, and nervous system capacity. I do not apply a fixed protocol. I follow what is actually happening with you that day and adjust from there, so more of you can be present without having to translate yourself first.

### **Do you work with ADHD, autistic, AuDHD, and gifted adults in Ontario?**

Yes. I work with neurodivergent adults across Ontario — including adults with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, high-masking patterns, burnout, and late diagnosis. Some clients have formal diagnoses; others do not and may never seek one. What matters most is whether your experience resonates with the kind of work described here.

### **Are your sessions virtual?**

Yes. All of my sessions are virtual, which means you can access therapy from anywhere in Ontario. Virtual sessions also mean you stay in your own environment — your own sensory space, your own chair, your own regulation tools — which many neurodivergent adults find genuinely helpful rather than merely convenient.

### **What if I feel like I'm doing therapy wrong?**

Many neurodivergent adults arrive having been made to feel that way before. Here, there is no right way to do it. Camera is optional, silence is allowed, you can say you do not know, and the pacing can change. If something lands wrong, that is useful information, not a sign you are failing at therapy.

### **Do I need a formal diagnosis to work with you?**

No. Many neurodivergent adults in Ontario have not received a formal diagnosis — either because assessment was inaccessible, or because their profile was masked, or because they are still in the process of understanding their own experience. Lived experience of neurodivergent patterns is sufficient grounds for working together.

### **What if therapy hasn't helped me before?**

I take that seriously. A difficult past experience of therapy often reflects a failure of fit, approach, or neurodivergent understanding, not a failure on your part. Early on, we can look at what did not help before and what would need to be different for therapy to feel genuinely useful this time.

---

## **Key Takeaways**

- Therapy with me starts from how your nervous system actually works, not from making you appear more neurotypical.
- Sessions are virtual across Ontario and adapted in pacing, structure and communication style; camera is optional and silence is allowed.
- You do not need a formal diagnosis, and therapy that did not help before is taken seriously, not held against you.
- The work often focuses on masking, burnout, shame, late diagnosis, identity and self-trust.
- I am neurodivergent myself, and that lived experience shapes what I pay attention to and make room for.

---

## **References**

Aller, T. B., Kelley, H. H., Barrett, T. S., Covington, B., Levin, M. E., & Brunson McClain, M. (2024). An examination of psychological flexibility as a mediator between mental health concerns and satisfaction with life among autistic adults. *Autism in Adulthood, 6*(4), 451–461. [https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0143](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0143)

Chen, Y., Xi, Z., Saunders, R., Simmons, D., Totsika, V., & Mandy, W. (2024). A systematic review and meta-analysis of the relationship between sensory processing differences and internalising/externalising problems in autism. *Clinical Psychology Review, 114*, 102516. [https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102516](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102516)

Khudiakova, V., Russell, E., Sowden-Carvalho, S., & Surtees, A. D. R. (2024). A systematic review and meta-analysis of mental health outcomes associated with camouflaging in autistic people. *Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 118*, 102492. [https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2024.102492](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2024.102492)

Leadbitter, K., Buckle, K. L., Ellis, C., & Dekker, M. (2021). Autistic self-advocacy and the neurodiversity movement: Implications for autism early intervention research and practice. *Frontiers in Psychology, 12*, 635690. [https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.635690](https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.635690)

Nayyar, J. M., Stapleton, A. V., Guerin, S., & O’Connor, C. (2025). Exploring lived experiences of receiving a diagnosis of autism in adulthood: A systematic review. *Autism in Adulthood, 7*(1), 1–12. [https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0152](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0152)

Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2022). The role of self-compassion in psychotherapy. *World Psychiatry, 21*(1), 58–59. [https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20925](https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20925)

Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A., & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). “Having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew”: Defining autistic burnout. *Autism in Adulthood, 2*(2), 132–143. [https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079)

---

*Michael Holker is a Registered Social Worker and neurodiversity-affirming therapist offering virtual therapy for neurodivergent adults across Ontario.*[*Learn more about Michael's background and approach →*](https://becomingyourself.com/michael-holker)

*This article is for education and reflection. It is not a substitute for individualized assessment or therapy. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8, Canada’s Suicide Crisis Helpline, any time, or call 911. For help finding mental health or addictions services in Ontario, contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600.*

## Blog Disclaimer

This blog may include occasional personal reflections or composite-style anecdotes to illustrate therapeutic ideas and foster connection. Any identifying details have been altered, omitted, or generalized to protect confidentiality. Every person’s experience is unique, and what resonates with one individual may not apply to another.

The content on this website is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this blog does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you have concerns about your mental health, physical health, or overall well-being, please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed mental health professional in your area.

As registered social workers, we offer psychotherapy services described on this website to residents of Ontario, in accordance with applicable professional standards and the scope of practice. If you are interested in working together or would like to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation, you are welcome to contact us through our practice.

These resources are offered to support reflection, learning, and self-understanding as you move toward a more grounded, authentic, and meaningful life.

 

Tags:

[neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy)

![Michael Holker MSW, RSW](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Mike%20Smile.png?width=120&height=120&name=Mike%20Smile.png)

**[Michael Holker MSW, RSW](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/author/michael-holker-msw-rsw)**  
 Jul 9, 2025, 9:49:25 AM

 Michael Holker, MSW, RSW, is a Registered Social Worker who practices neurodiversity-affirming therapy and is the founder of Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting — a virtual practice based in Toronto that serves adults across Ontario. He works with late-diagnosed and self-identified autistic, ADHD, AuDHD and gifted (2e) adults, bringing lived experience of neurodivergence to a trauma-informed, strengths-based approach. He practises alongside Euodia Leung, MSW, RSW, whose focus is anxiety, depression and self-esteem. Book a free 20-minute meet-and-greet.

[Follow me on my website](https://becomingyourself.com) [Follow me on Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/BecomingYourslf) [Follow me on LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-holker-09986093/)

## Related Articles

[![The Hidden Weight of High-Functioning Anxiety](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/HighfunctioningAnxiety.webp?width=500&height=500&name=HighfunctioningAnxiety.webp) The Hidden Weight of High-Functioning Anxiety Michael Holker MSW, RSW • Oct 25, 2026, 11:06:48 AM](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/high-functioning-anxiety-hidden-weight)

[![How to Stop People-Pleasing — When It Once Kept You Safe](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/PeoplePleasingFawnResponse.webp?width=500&height=500&name=PeoplePleasingFawnResponse.webp) How to Stop People-Pleasing — When It Once Kept You Safe Michael Holker MSW, RSW • Oct 14, 2026, 9:31:55 PM](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/how-to-stop-people-pleasing-fawn-response)

[![Neuro-Affirming Care in Practice: 4 Therapists on What Helps](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/neuroaffirming-care-adults-self-understanding.webp?width=500&height=500&name=neuroaffirming-care-adults-self-understanding.webp) Neuro-Affirming Care in Practice: 4 Therapists on What Helps Michael Holker MSW, RSW • Sep 25, 2026, 8:30:00 AM](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neuroaffirming-care-expert-perspectives)

[![Becoming Yourself Logo ](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Social%20Media%20Logo%20-%20Secondary%20Light-4.png?width=228&height=87&name=Social%20Media%20Logo%20-%20Secondary%20Light-4.png "Becoming Yourself Logo ")](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/BecomingYourselSolidColoursNoWordingTransparent-2.png)

1108 - 250 Consumers Rd. #413  
North York, ON M2J4V6  
(For Mailing Purposes Only) 

Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting provides neurodiversity-affirming online therapy for adults across Ontario.

Virtual Counselling is available across Ontario, including Toronto, Ottawa, Hamilton, London, Kitchener-Waterloo, Mississauga, and elsewhere in Ontario.

**THERAPY FOR:**

[ADHD](https://becomingyourself.com/adhd-therapy-for-adults-in-ontario)

[AUTISM](https://becomingyourself.com/autism-therapy-for-adults-in-ontario)

[AuDHD](https://becomingyourself.com/audhd-therapy-in-ontario)

[Gifted & Neurodivergent (2e)](https://becomingyourself.com/therapy-for-gifted-adults-in-ontario)

**DISCOVER:**

[Home](https://becomingyourself.com)

[Services & Approach](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario)

[Our Team](https://becomingyourself.com/team)

[Contact](https://becomingyourself.com/contact)

[On Becoming Yourself Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself)

© 2026 Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting.  All rights reserved.  
[Privacy Policy](https://becomingyourself.com/privacy)   [Website Terms of Use](https://becomingyourself.com/website-terms-of-use)

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@type" : "BlogPosting",
  "author" : {
    "@type" : "Person",
    "name" : "Michael Holker MSW, RSW",
    "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/author/michael-holker-msw-rsw"
  },
  "dateModified" : "2026-10-25T20:11:15.475Z",
  "datePublished" : "2025-07-09T13:49:25.000Z",
  "headline" : "What Therapy With a Neurodivergent Therapist Looks Like",
  "image" : [ "https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-autistic-adhd-adults.webp" ],
  "mainEntityOfPage" : {
    "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-for-autistic-adhd-adults",
    "@type" : "WebPage"
  },
  "publisher" : {
    "@type" : "Organization",
    "logo" : {
      "@type" : "ImageObject",
      "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/BecomingYourselSolidColoursNoWordingTransparent-1.png"
    },
    "name" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling"
  }
}
```

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/#website",
  "@type" : "WebSite",
  "inLanguage" : "en-CA",
  "name" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting",
  "publisher" : {
    "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/#org"
  },
  "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/"
}
```

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/#org",
  "@type" : [ "Organization", "ProfessionalService" ],
  "address" : {
    "@type" : "PostalAddress",
    "addressCountry" : "CA",
    "addressLocality" : "North York",
    "addressRegion" : "ON",
    "postalCode" : "M2J 4V6",
    "streetAddress" : "1108 - 250 Consumers Road #413"
  },
  "alternateName" : [ "Becoming Yourself Counselling", "Becoming Yourself Counselling & Consulting" ],
  "areaServed" : [ {
    "@type" : "AdministrativeArea",
    "containsPlace" : [ {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Toronto"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Ottawa"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Mississauga"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Brampton"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Hamilton"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "London"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Kitchener"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Waterloo"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Windsor"
    }, {
      "@type" : "City",
      "name" : "Kingston"
    } ],
    "name" : "Ontario"
  } ],
  "contactPoint" : {
    "@type" : "ContactPoint",
    "areaServed" : "CA-ON",
    "availableLanguage" : [ "en" ],
    "contactType" : "customer support",
    "email" : "michael@becomingyourself.com",
    "telephone" : "+1-289-278-6272"
  },
  "description" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting is a neurodiversity-affirming virtual therapy practice serving adults across Ontario through Registered Social Workers Michael Holker and Euodia Leung. Michael focuses on late-diagnosed and self-identified ADHD, autistic, AuDHD and gifted (2e) adults; Euodia supports neurodivergence, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, students, life transitions and adults exploring neurodivergence.",
  "email" : "michael@becomingyourself.com",
  "employee" : [ {
    "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/michael-holker#person"
  }, {
    "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/euodia-leung#person"
  } ],
  "founder" : {
    "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/michael-holker#person"
  },
  "geo" : {
    "@type" : "GeoCoordinates",
    "latitude" : 43.7785,
    "longitude" : -79.3402
  },
  "legalName" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting Services",
  "logo" : {
    "@type" : "ImageObject",
    "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg"
  },
  "name" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting",
  "openingHoursSpecification" : [ {
    "@type" : "OpeningHoursSpecification",
    "closes" : "18:00",
    "dayOfWeek" : [ "Monday", "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday" ],
    "opens" : "09:00"
  } ],
  "priceRange" : "$175+",
  "sameAs" : [ "https://www.instagram.com/becomingyourselfcounselling/", "https://www.facebook.com/BecomingYourslf", "https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-holker-09986093", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/michael-holker-north-york-on/1057652", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/euodia-leung-north-york-on/1833889", "https://maps.app.goo.gl/umd7FB9jUjUcrwhT7" ],
  "telephone" : "+1-289-278-6272",
  "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/"
}
```

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-for-autistic-adhd-adults#faq",
  "@type" : "FAQPage",
  "mainEntity" : [ {
    "@type" : "Question",
    "acceptedAnswer" : {
      "@type" : "Answer",
      "text" : "It is collaborative, flexible, and adapted to your communication style, sensory needs, processing pace, and nervous system capacity. I do not apply a fixed protocol. I follow what is actually happening with you that day and adjust from there, so more of you can be present without having to translate yourself first."
    },
    "name" : "What does therapy with you look like?"
  }, {
    "@type" : "Question",
    "acceptedAnswer" : {
      "@type" : "Answer",
      "text" : "Yes. I work with neurodivergent adults across Ontario — including adults with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, high-masking patterns, burnout, and late diagnosis. Some clients have formal diagnoses; others do not and may never seek one. What matters most is whether your experience resonates with the kind of work described here."
    },
    "name" : "Do you work with ADHD, autistic, AuDHD, and gifted adults in Ontario?"
  }, {
    "@type" : "Question",
    "acceptedAnswer" : {
      "@type" : "Answer",
      "text" : "Yes. All of my sessions are virtual, which means you can access therapy from anywhere in Ontario. Virtual sessions also mean you stay in your own environment — your own sensory space, your own chair, your own regulation tools — which many neurodivergent adults find genuinely helpful rather than merely convenient."
    },
    "name" : "Are your sessions virtual?"
  }, {
    "@type" : "Question",
    "acceptedAnswer" : {
      "@type" : "Answer",
      "text" : "Many neurodivergent adults arrive having been made to feel that way before. Here, there is no right way to do it. Camera is optional, silence is allowed, you can say you do not know, and the pacing can change. If something lands wrong, that is useful information, not a sign you are failing at therapy."
    },
    "name" : "What if I feel like I'm doing therapy wrong?"
  }, {
    "@type" : "Question",
    "acceptedAnswer" : {
      "@type" : "Answer",
      "text" : "No. Many neurodivergent adults in Ontario have not received a formal diagnosis — either because assessment was inaccessible, or because their profile was masked, or because they are still in the process of understanding their own experience. Lived experience of neurodivergent patterns is sufficient grounds for working together."
    },
    "name" : "Do I need a formal diagnosis to work with you?"
  }, {
    "@type" : "Question",
    "acceptedAnswer" : {
      "@type" : "Answer",
      "text" : "I take that seriously. A difficult past experience of therapy often reflects a failure of fit, approach, or neurodivergent understanding, not a failure on your part. Early on, we can look at what did not help before and what would need to be different for therapy to feel genuinely useful this time."
    },
    "name" : "What if therapy hasn't helped me before?"
  } ],
  "name" : "Questions About Working With Me",
  "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-for-autistic-adhd-adults"
}
```

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-for-autistic-adhd-adults#breadcrumb",
  "@type" : "BreadcrumbList",
  "itemListElement" : [ {
    "@type" : "ListItem",
    "item" : "https://becomingyourself.com/",
    "name" : "Home",
    "position" : 1
  }, {
    "@type" : "ListItem",
    "item" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/",
    "name" : "On Becoming Yourself",
    "position" : 2
  }, {
    "@type" : "ListItem",
    "item" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-for-autistic-adhd-adults",
    "name" : "What Therapy With a Neurodivergent Therapist Looks Like",
    "position" : 3
  } ]
}
```