--- title: High-Masking Autism and the Hidden Cost of Autistic Masking description: Successful on the outside, exhausted on the inside? Learn what autistic masking costs high-achieving adults, how fawning fits in, and how to unmask safely. image: https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/UnmaskingAutism_BlogImage.webp --- [Skip to main content](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/unmasking-autism-hidden-cost-of-masking#main-content) [![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg) ![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg) ![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg) ![Becoming Yourself Logo - Secondary](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg)](https://becomingyourself.com) - [Home](https://becomingyourself.com) - [Services & Approach](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario) - [Our Team](https://becomingyourself.com/team) - [Contact](https://becomingyourself.com/contact) - [Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself) Open main navigation Close main navigation - [Home](https://becomingyourself.com) - [Services & Approach](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario) - [Our Team](https://becomingyourself.com/team) - [Contact](https://becomingyourself.com/contact) - [Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself) - [FREE Meet & Greet](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/list) [FREE Meet & Greet](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/list) [Blog](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself) Tags - [Autism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/autism) - [neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy) - [ADHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/adhd) - [Burnout and Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/burnout-and-masking) - [Identity and Self](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/identity-and-self) - [AuDHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/audhd) - [Gifted and Twice-Exceptional (2e)](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/gifted-and-twice-exceptional-2e) Search - [Autism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/autism) - [neurodiversity-affirming therapy](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy) - [ADHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/adhd) - [Burnout and Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/burnout-and-masking) - [Identity and Self](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/identity-and-self) - [AuDHD](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/audhd) - [Gifted and Twice-Exceptional (2e)](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/gifted-and-twice-exceptional-2e) [Autism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/autism) [Burnout and Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/burnout-and-masking) [Unmasking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/unmasking) # High-Masking Autism and the Hidden Cost of Autistic Masking ![High-Masking Autism and the Hidden Cost of Autistic Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/UnmaskingAutism_BlogImage.webp?width=1200&height=820&name=UnmaskingAutism_BlogImage.webp) Autistic masking means suppressing or compensating for autistic traits, such as hiding stims, forcing eye contact or scripting conversations, to appear neurotypical and stay safe or accepted. For high-masking adults, the cost often stays hidden: exhaustion, a split sense of self and a higher risk of burnout, even when life looks successful from the outside. **TL;DR: Strategic Unmasking** - **Hidden cost:** High-masking autistic adults often look successful while paying for it in exhaustion, a split sense of self and burnout risk. - **Is unmasking autism always the goal**? No. Unmasking autism is a contextual, strategic choice. - **Safety First:** Autistic masking is a survival tool. Knowing where it is safe to drop the mask—and where it isn’t—is a vital skill for long-term health. - **The Fawn Response:** Many high-achievers use people-pleasing as an adaptation. Unmasking often means disrupting the status quo and reclaiming your right to set boundaries. *By Michael Holker, MSW, RSW · Updated October 2026* In my clinical practice in Toronto, I often meet individuals who are the pillars of their industries—the lawyers, tech leads, creative directors—who share a common, quiet secret: they are being crushed by the weight of a performance they didn't realize they were giving. They are high-performing, highly respected, and completely hollowed out by the "Masked Achiever" identity. If you have spent your life feeling like a vehicle with its "check engine light" on, you aren't broken. You are likely just an expert at autistic masking. For the twice-exceptional (2e) or high-achieving adult, masking isn’t just about fitting in. It is a sophisticated, manual, and high-stakes survival strategy developed over decades to navigate a world that wasn’t built for your nervous system. But there is a ceiling to how long you can use brute force to get your way through life. This is why autism therapy that supports unmasking safely can matter: the goal is not to suddenly drop every mask, but to understand what masking has cost, what it has protected, and how to move toward a more sustainable way of being. The result of long-term masking is often a catastrophic system failure known as autistic burnout symptoms. ## What Is Autistic Masking, and What Does Unmasking Mean? At its core, unmasking autism is the intentional process of identifying and shedding the neurotypical behaviours you adopted to stay safe, belong, or succeed. Researchers describe camouflaging as including both masking traits and actively compensating for them (Hull et al., 2019). Unmasking is not an overnight transformation; it is a slow, often painful excavation. When we are talking about unmasking autism, we are talking about more than just being ourselves. For a high-achieving adult, the mask is a complex, high-definition persona meticulously curated since childhood. Understanding the reality of unmasking requires us to examine the internal engine that keeps the mask running and the profound alienation that arises when the engine finally begins to fail. For many people, the mask has become so fused with their identity that they no longer know where the performance ends and their true self begins. You might find yourself asking: - Do I actually enjoy this social event, or am I just good at pretending to? - Am I truly this productive, or is my workaholism a shield against social confusion? Those questions sit at the heart of [what identity looks like after a late autism diagnosis](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/what-identity-looks-like-after-late-diagnosis-of-autism). Unmasking is a brave act of answering those questions, even when the answers are inconvenient. ### Why Do High-Achieving Autistic Adults Mask So Well? In a city like Toronto, the internal engine of the mask is often fueled by high-stakes professional demands. In the legal, tech, or other high-demanding sectors, the standard for professionalism is essentially a blueprint for neurotypicality. You are required to maintain sustained eye contact, engage in rapid-fire small talk, network in loud environments, and read between the lines.  We look at what recovery can look like when you can’t simply leave that environment in [masking at work for neurodivergent professionals in Toronto](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/masking-burnout-in-toronto-recovery-guide). High-achieving autistics use autistic masking as a high-performance engine to blend into these environments. They use their pattern recognition to solve social interactions like a code. Some autistics do things like: - Memorizing scripts for the elevators - Calculating the correct amount of humour to use in a meeting - Use high intelligence to bridge the gap where social intuition falls short Researchers call these compensatory strategies, and many autistic adults describe them as effortful and draining (Livingston et al., 2019). On the outside, they look like the ideal employee. On the inside, they are manually operating the machine that was designed to run on autopilot for everyone else. Learning more about late-diagnosis [autism therapy in Ontario](https://becomingyourself.com/autism-therapy-for-adults-in-ontario)could be a positive next step. ### What Is the Hidden Cost of a Split Identity? Yes, the mask provides a level of professional safety and external success. However, it also creates a devastating shadow side. This is a phenomenon of the split identity. When you spend over 10 hours a day performing a version of yourself that is palatable to the neurotypical world, you begin to experience a profound alienation from your own body and needs. Often, some autistic people begin to ignore sensory pain, suppress their desire to stim or move, and silence their voice. As a result of the split, you may feel hollowed out. Yes, you're successful, but you may feel like an imposter in your own life. Many autistic adults describe this split as a major contributor to burnout, and research links camouflaging with exhaustion and poorer mental health (Cage & Troxell-Whitman, 2019). Unmasking, gradually and where it’s safe, is one of the main ways to change this. As we continue, we’ll look at the risks of unmasking autism and what recent research says about social camouflaging in autistic adults. ## How Does Masking Lead to Burnout? For many high-masking adults, the bill arrives as burnout: skill loss, sensory hypersensitivity, executive function collapse, exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix, and a strong need to withdraw. It can feel like a state of deep exhaustion and reduced capacity that follows when the brain can no longer pay the “energy tax” of masking. We cover the signs in depth in [masking burnout: signs you’re burning out from masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/masking-burnout-and-the-neurodivergent-high-achieving-trap) and [the ultimate guide to autistic burnout](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/the-ultimate-guide-to-autistic-burnout). When you reach this stage, masking is no longer a choice. It’s a physical impossibility. Recovery requires more than rest. It requires [what unmasking looks like day-to-day](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/unmasking-in-everyday-life-a-neurodivergent-reality): safe, gradual strategies that lower your daily neurological load without forcing you to abandon every protective adaptation at once. ## Is the Fawn Response Part of Autistic Masking? For many autistic adults, fawning becomes part of masking. Fawning is a survival adaptation in which you become hyperagreeable to secure safety. By prioritizing others' needs, you buy belonging at the cost of your identity. Understanding [how the fawn response functions as a survival mechanism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/how-to-stop-people-pleasing-fawn-response) is crucial. It suggests people-pleasing is often a protective adaptation, not a personality flaw. However, the risks of unmasking autism are social. When you stop fawning, you break a silent contract. Minority stress research helps explain why: stigma and the effort of concealment can take a real toll on autistic people’s mental health (Botha & Frost, 2020). The risk is a disruption of what is expected of you. So, there are some real risks of unmasking autism, but it's important to recognize what you're sacrificing. ## How Does Unmasking Affect Relationships? Unmasking autism in relationships rarely happens in a vacuum. Partners and family often know you as the reliable person. This persona is often built on undiagnosed fawning. As you retire the "Helper" role, the relationship's foundation is tested. People often prefer the version of you that requires zero maintenance. Setting boundaries can trigger a backlash. This is often linked to [Tall Poppy Syndrome](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/breaking-free-from-tall-poppy-syndrome-for-audhd-adults), where your growth is seen as a threat to others' comfort. If a relationship relied on your mask, unmasking will expose the cracks. Some will adapt; others may grieve the inconvenience. You need a neuro-affirming space to process this loss and find connections that respect your true needs. ## How Can You Unmask Safely? Unmasking autism is not an "all-or-nothing" event. It is a dial, not a switch. You do not owe the world your vulnerability at the expense of your security. Developing safe unmasking strategies starts with the context-based safety audit. ***Ask yourself:*** - Is this environment sensory-safe? - Do these people respect my "no"? In high-stakes environments, masking may be a necessary tool. Healthy unmasking is about having more choice: being able to drop your guard in safe harbours (Pearson & Rose, 2021). A neuro-affirming therapy session is one safe place to do that. For practical, day-to-day ways to start, see [how neurodivergent adults unmask safely in everyday life](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/unmasking-in-everyday-life-a-neurodivergent-reality). Unmasking and burnout are deeply connected — if burnout is part of your experience, the [ultimate guide to autistic burnout](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/the-ultimate-guide-to-autistic-burnout) walks through what's driving it and what healing can look like. ## Where can you find neurodiversity-affirming therapy in Ontario? Becoming Yourself Counselling offers neurodiversity-affirming therapy virtually across Ontario, so you don’t have to be in Toronto to work with us. Toronto is a high-pressure city. If you work in Bay Street finance, tech, or law, the demand for professional masking is relentless. High achievers here are often expected to be on 24/7. This is one reason support that understands 2e and autistic experience can matter so much. Some therapy approaches focus on changing behaviour rather than regulating a sensitive nervous system. You don't need to be taught how to blend in better. You need a space that respects your intellect while honouring your sensory limits. In a [neurodiversity-affirming space](https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario), the goal isn't to act neurotypical. The goal is to build a sustainable life. We look at the unique stressors of the GTA. Together, we will prioritize your energy over others' expectations. If you’re tired of masking your autism to meet the standards of a neurotypical world, you’re welcome to [meet our therapists](https://becomingyourself.com/team) and learn more about how we each work, or [book a free 20-minute meet-and-greet](https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/#/list) with either of us. You deserve a therapist who speaks your language and understands the cost of your mask. If your experience includes both autism and ADHD traits, [AuDHD therapy in Ontario](https://becomingyourself.com/audhd-therapy-in-ontario)can offer support for understanding the overlap between masking, intensity, executive functioning, burnout, and identity. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### What is autistic masking? Autistic masking means consciously or unconsciously suppressing autistic traits, such as forcing eye contact, scripting conversations, hiding stims or concealing sensory distress, to appear neurotypical and stay safe or accepted. Researchers often call it camouflaging, and it can include both hiding traits and actively compensating for them (Hull et al., 2019). ### What does high-masking autism mean? High-masking autism describes autistic people whose masking is so practised that others, and sometimes they themselves, don’t see the autism. Many are high-achieving and seem socially capable, so they’re diagnosed late or not at all. The effort is real, though, and it often shows up as exhaustion, anxiety or burnout behind a composed surface. ### What is the hidden cost of masking? The hidden cost of masking can include chronic exhaustion, anxiety, a split or hollowed-out sense of identity, and a higher risk of autistic burnout, even when a person looks successful from the outside. Autistic adults describe these costs as building over time, especially when they mask across work, relationships and home (Cage & Troxell-Whitman, 2019). ### Is the fawn response part of autistic masking? It can be. Many autistic adults learn to keep the peace by agreeing, accommodating and putting others’ needs first, sometimes called fawning. It often develops as protection in environments where being different felt unsafe. Seeing it as an adaptation rather than a personality flaw can make it easier to start setting boundaries. ### How do you unmask safely? Unmasking safely usually happens gradually and by context, not all at once. Start in safe relationships and lower-stakes settings, do a safety audit of each environment, and reduce unnecessary masking where you have enough support. For day-to-day ideas, see [what unmasking looks like in everyday life](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/unmasking-in-everyday-life-a-neurodivergent-reality). ### Can therapy help high-masking autistic adults? Yes. Therapy can help you understand what your mask has protected, what it’s costing now, and where it’s safe to ease off. Becoming Yourself Counselling offers neurodiversity-affirming therapy virtually across Ontario for autistic and AuDHD adults, including high-masking professionals, starting with a free 20-minute meet-and-greet. ## References Botha, M., & Frost, D. M. (2020). Extending the minority stress model to understand mental health problems experienced by the autistic population. *Society and Mental Health, 10*(1), 20–34. [https://doi.org/10.1177/2156869318804297](https://doi.org/10.1177/2156869318804297) Cage, E., & Troxell-Whitman, Z. (2019). Understanding the reasons, contexts and costs of camouflaging for autistic adults. *Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49*(5), 1899–1911. [https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-03878-x](https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-03878-x) Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M.-C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., & Petrides, K. V. (2019). Development and validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). *Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49*(3), 819–833. [https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-3792-6](https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-3792-6) Livingston, L. A., Shah, P., & Happé, F. (2019). Compensatory strategies below the behavioural surface in autism: A qualitative study. *The Lancet Psychiatry, 6*(9), 766–777. [https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(19)30224-X](https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(19)30224-X) Pearson, A., & Rose, K. (2021). A conceptual analysis of autistic masking: Understanding the narrative of stigma and the illusion of choice. *Autism in Adulthood, 3*(1), 52–60. [https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0043](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0043) Michael Holker is a Registered Social Worker and neurodiversity-affirming therapist offering virtual therapy across Ontario for adults with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, giftedness, and twice-exceptionality.[*Learn more about working with Michael →*](https://becomingyourself.com/michael-holker) *This article is for education and reflection. It is not a substitute for individualized assessment or therapy. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8, Canada’s Suicide Crisis Helpline, any time, or call 911. For help finding mental health or addictions services in Ontario, contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600.* ## Blog Disclaimer This blog may include occasional personal reflections or composite-style anecdotes to illustrate therapeutic ideas and foster connection. Any identifying details have been altered, omitted, or generalized to protect confidentiality. Every person’s experience is unique, and what resonates with one individual may not apply to another. The content on this website is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this blog does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you have concerns about your mental health, physical health, or overall well-being, please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed mental health professional in your area. As registered social workers, we offer psychotherapy services described on this website to residents of Ontario, in accordance with applicable professional standards and the scope of practice. If you are interested in working together or would like to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation, you are welcome to contact us through our practice. These resources are offered to support reflection, learning, and self-understanding as you move toward a more grounded, authentic, and meaningful life.   Tags: [Autism](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/autism) [Burnout and Masking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/burnout-and-masking) [Unmasking](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/tag/unmasking) ![Michael Holker MSW, RSW](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Mike%20Smile.png?width=120&height=120&name=Mike%20Smile.png) **[Michael Holker MSW, RSW](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/author/michael-holker-msw-rsw)** Feb 27, 2026, 4:00:00 PM Michael Holker, MSW, RSW, is a Registered Social Worker who practices neurodiversity-affirming therapy and is the founder of Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting — a virtual practice based in Toronto that serves adults across Ontario. He works with late-diagnosed and self-identified autistic, ADHD, AuDHD and gifted (2e) adults, bringing lived experience of neurodivergence to a trauma-informed, strengths-based approach. He practises alongside Euodia Leung, MSW, RSW, whose focus is anxiety, depression and self-esteem. Book a free 20-minute meet-and-greet. [Follow me on my website](https://becomingyourself.com) [Follow me on Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/BecomingYourslf) [Follow me on LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-holker-09986093/) ## Related Articles [![Neurodivergent Burnout Recovery: What Healing Takes When Rest Isn’t Enough](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/BurnoutRecovery.webp?width=500&height=500&name=BurnoutRecovery.webp) Neurodivergent Burnout Recovery: What Healing Takes When Rest Isn’t Enough Michael Holker MSW, RSW • Aug 15, 2026, 9:00:00 AM](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/neurodivergent-burnout-recovery-in-ontario) [![Sensory Overload in ADHD and Autistic Adults: What Helps](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/SensoryOverwhelm.webp?width=500&height=500&name=SensoryOverwhelm.webp) Sensory Overload in ADHD and Autistic Adults: What Helps Michael Holker MSW, RSW • Jul 31, 2026, 9:00:00 AM](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/sensory-overwhelm-in-ontario) [![When You Can’t Stop Performing: Masking at Work for Neurodivergent Professionals in Toronto](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Maskingburnout.webp?width=500&height=500&name=Maskingburnout.webp) When You Can’t Stop Performing: Masking at Work for Neurodivergent Professionals in Toronto Michael Holker MSW, RSW • Jul 15, 2026, 9:00:05 AM](https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/masking-burnout-in-toronto-recovery-guide) [![Becoming Yourself Logo ](https://becomingyourself.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Social%20Media%20Logo%20-%20Secondary%20Light-4.png?width=228&height=87&name=Social%20Media%20Logo%20-%20Secondary%20Light-4.png "Becoming Yourself Logo ")](https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/BecomingYourselSolidColoursNoWordingTransparent-2.png) 1108 - 250 Consumers Rd. #413 North York, ON M2J4V6 (For Mailing Purposes Only)  Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting provides neurodiversity-affirming online therapy for adults across Ontario. 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[Privacy Policy](https://becomingyourself.com/privacy)   [Website Terms of Use](https://becomingyourself.com/website-terms-of-use) ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Michael Holker MSW, RSW", "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/author/michael-holker-msw-rsw" }, "dateModified" : "2026-10-25T20:10:17.162Z", "datePublished" : "2026-02-27T21:00:00.000Z", "headline" : "High-Masking Autism and the Hidden Cost of Autistic Masking", "image" : [ "https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/UnmaskingAutism_BlogImage.webp" ], "mainEntityOfPage" : { "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/unmasking-autism-hidden-cost-of-masking", "@type" : "WebPage" }, "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/BecomingYourselSolidColoursNoWordingTransparent-1.png" }, "name" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling" } } ``` ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/#website", "@type" : "WebSite", "inLanguage" : "en-CA", "name" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting", "publisher" : { "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/#org" }, "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/" } ``` ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/#org", "@type" : [ "Organization", "ProfessionalService" ], "address" : { "@type" : "PostalAddress", "addressCountry" : "CA", "addressLocality" : "North York", "addressRegion" : "ON", "postalCode" : "M2J 4V6", "streetAddress" : "1108 - 250 Consumers Road #413" }, "alternateName" : [ "Becoming Yourself Counselling", "Becoming Yourself Counselling & Consulting" ], "areaServed" : [ { "@type" : "AdministrativeArea", "containsPlace" : [ { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Toronto" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Ottawa" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Mississauga" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Brampton" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Hamilton" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "London" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Kitchener" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Waterloo" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Windsor" }, { "@type" : "City", "name" : "Kingston" } ], "name" : "Ontario" } ], "contactPoint" : { "@type" : "ContactPoint", "areaServed" : "CA-ON", "availableLanguage" : [ "en" ], "contactType" : "customer support", "email" : "michael@becomingyourself.com", "telephone" : "+1-289-278-6272" }, "description" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting is a neurodiversity-affirming virtual therapy practice serving adults across Ontario through Registered Social Workers Michael Holker and Euodia Leung. Michael focuses on late-diagnosed and self-identified ADHD, autistic, AuDHD and gifted (2e) adults; Euodia supports neurodivergence, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, students, life transitions and adults exploring neurodivergence.", "email" : "michael@becomingyourself.com", "employee" : [ { "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/michael-holker#person" }, { "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/euodia-leung#person" } ], "founder" : { "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/michael-holker#person" }, "geo" : { "@type" : "GeoCoordinates", "latitude" : 43.7785, "longitude" : -79.3402 }, "legalName" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting Services", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/hubfs/Becoming%20Yourself%20Logo%20-%20Secondary.svg" }, "name" : "Becoming Yourself Counselling and Consulting", "openingHoursSpecification" : [ { "@type" : "OpeningHoursSpecification", "closes" : "18:00", "dayOfWeek" : [ "Monday", "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday" ], "opens" : "09:00" } ], "priceRange" : "$175+", "sameAs" : [ "https://www.instagram.com/becomingyourselfcounselling/", "https://www.facebook.com/BecomingYourslf", "https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-holker-09986093", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/michael-holker-north-york-on/1057652", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/euodia-leung-north-york-on/1833889", "https://maps.app.goo.gl/umd7FB9jUjUcrwhT7" ], "telephone" : "+1-289-278-6272", "url" : "https://becomingyourself.com/" } ``` ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@id" : "https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/unmasking-autism-hidden-cost-of-masking#faq", "@type" : "FAQPage", "inLanguage" : "en-CA", "mainEntity" : [ { "@type" : "Question", "acceptedAnswer" : { "@type" : "Answer", "text" : "Autistic masking means consciously or unconsciously suppressing autistic traits, such as forcing eye contact, scripting conversations, hiding stims or concealing sensory distress, to appear neurotypical and stay safe or accepted. Researchers often call it camouflaging, and it can include both hiding traits and actively compensating for them (Hull et al., 2019)." }, "name" : "What is autistic masking?" }, { "@type" : "Question", "acceptedAnswer" : { "@type" : "Answer", "text" : "High-masking autism describes autistic people whose masking is so practised that others, and sometimes they themselves, don’t see the autism. Many are high-achieving and seem socially capable, so they’re diagnosed late or not at all. The effort is real, though, and it often shows up as exhaustion, anxiety or burnout behind a composed surface." }, "name" : "What does high-masking autism mean?" }, { "@type" : "Question", "acceptedAnswer" : { "@type" : "Answer", "text" : "The hidden cost of masking can include chronic exhaustion, anxiety, a split or hollowed-out sense of identity, and a higher risk of autistic burnout, even when a person looks successful from the outside. Autistic adults describe these costs as building over time, especially when they mask across work, relationships and home (Cage & Troxell-Whitman, 2019)." }, "name" : "What is the hidden cost of masking?" }, { "@type" : "Question", "acceptedAnswer" : { "@type" : "Answer", "text" : "It can be. Many autistic adults learn to keep the peace by agreeing, accommodating and putting others’ needs first, sometimes called fawning. It often develops as protection in environments where being different felt unsafe. Seeing it as an adaptation rather than a personality flaw can make it easier to start setting boundaries." }, "name" : "Is the fawn response part of autistic masking?" }, { "@type" : "Question", "acceptedAnswer" : { "@type" : "Answer", "text" : "Unmasking safely usually happens gradually and by context, not all at once. Start in safe relationships and lower-stakes settings, do a safety audit of each environment, and reduce unnecessary masking where you have enough support. For day-to-day ideas, see what unmasking looks like in everyday life." }, "name" : "How do you unmask safely?" }, { "@type" : "Question", "acceptedAnswer" : { "@type" : "Answer", "text" : "Yes. Therapy can help you understand what your mask has protected, what it’s costing now, and where it’s safe to ease off. 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